Best friend break ups

I currently have no friends & I would love some new female, non-binary, & gay friends in my life who have similar interests. I have been dealing with mental health issues for a long time, but had a very traumatic time this past year. I definitely have issues with trusting new & old relationships because my family members & friends don't know or understand what I've been dealing with. I can no longer trust anyone with my safety & well-being because they don't see me as an equal or as a priority in their lives. I've been no contact with most of my family & former friends because I can't trust them to be honest with me or to be a safe environment for me.

I feel like now, I am a little lonely, but as an autistic black woman, I no longer have the capacity to mask in any relationships. I've suffered through a lot of abuse in several of my relationships. I'm tired of people pleasing & making myself uncomfortable to fit into someone else's life the way they want or need. I don't owe anyone anything but to be myself as much as possible & if anyone doesn't accept that, then they are the problem, not me.

I have briefly connected with a lot of new people who are black autistic women+ & feel like I am connected more to their shared experiences. I find that I am less & less interested in people who don't have the capability to understand & relate to me on an emotional & intellectual level. I can't have dumb, frivolous conversations as my only source of connection to another person. Though I've had meaningful relationships in my past, I've dealt with a lot of dishonesty & disingenuous people.

I had a friend a very long time ago who I put a lot of my time & energy into, but it was never really reciprocated back. I had been dealing with a lot of personal issues at the time & some serious life changes & I realized that my friend didn't care about me enough. It hurt my feelings to stop communicating with her after a bunch of years because I was never going to be important to her in the way I had made her important to me. The friendship ended when I stopped putting in effort & I felt so lonely. I don't feel like that anymore because I expect every relationship I have now to end way sooner because of who other people expected me to be. But masking is so draining & it's something I can no longer maintain in relationships that are supposed to be important to me